Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give
Ada Calhoun doesn’t give wedding toasts in real life. Instead, as she tells us in the introduction to her sharp, funny, and extremely insightful book Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give, she likes to sit back with a glass of champagne and enjoy other people’s efforts. Luckily for us, her silence at her friends’ ceremonies doesn’t mean she has nothing on her mind. On the contrary, Calhoun is full of wisdom and experience, which she imparts to us with candor and grace in Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give, inspired by her enormously popular New York Times “Modern Love” essay, “The Wedding Toast I’ll Never Give.” Weaving intimate moments from her own married life with frank insight from experts, clergy, and friends, Calhoun presents a realistic portrait of what marriage is really like, while offering advice on how to get through the not-so-idyllic aspects of lifelong commitment.
In addition to offering helpful redefinitions and recommendations, Calhoun delivers practical advice on the suffering, both large and small, we will encounter if we’re married. Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give concludes with a toast Calhoun actually would give. In it, Calhoun advises newlyweds to hang on to moments of grace, moments when you truly see your husband or wife for who they are, for the person you love. A wedding is one of these treasured moments, says Calhoun, and there will be more. You can’t plan for them, but they will happen. These are the moments “when you see your husband or wife through a crowd and think ‘Who is that?’ and realize it’s the person you picked and who picked you five, twenty, fifty years before.” When you’re having trouble, these are the moments to remember.
With Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give, Ada Calhoun provides us with a great gift: if we are already in a marriage, she lets us know that we are not alone. If we one day might be married, she offers us the tools to weather the inevitable storms. Realistic yet hopeful, Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give is a much-needed exploration of modern marriage.
Ada Calhoun is the author of St. Marks Is Dead. She has written for the New York Times, New York magazine, and the New York Post; her reporting has won multiple awards, including a USC-Annenberg National Health Journalism Fellowship, CCF Media Award, and Alicia Patterson Foundation fellowship. As a collaborator and ghostwriter, she has written twelve books for major publishers, including several New York Times bestsellers.